Dear Self...

Dear Self,

What were you thinking when you told Ben you'd be happy to help him with his math? Helping with his homework won't make yours go away. Suck it up and do your own homework.
Love, Natalie
p.s. if Ben ever reads this: dear Ben, it's not the math, it's the guilt i feel afterwards for letting myself be a good wife and help you. I should be a bad wife and just do my own homework. ugh. reality is setting in... i'd better go to sleep. 1 am never did treat me very well. love you.

Counting the days..

Days I've lived not married to Ben: 7,943.
Days I've lived knowing Ben: 622
Days I've lived Ben knowing me: 615
Days I've lived since my first date with Ben: 557
Days I've lived since my first kiss with Ben: 547
Days I've lived since Ben put a ring on it: 146
Days I've lived married to Ben: 32.

I'm hoping one day the last number will be bigger than the first. :)

♥ Happy 1 month to Ben and I ♥
(2 days late)

p.s. i'm trying to post about our new place but other things keep coming up. that's my goal this week (along with doing 3 weeks of reading and homework). we'll see. :/

I'm Moving...

for anyone who checks this blog... starting wednesday, this blog will be moving to benalie.blogspot.com

that's all.. i'll post better stuff later.. :)

wedding pictures and loving life.

Hey Everyone, We are one party away from celebrating our NEW marriage! here are the slideshows from the wedding, the first being just ben and i, the second being of our family pictures as well as reception pictures.

http://stephaniesmithphotography.com/natalieben/

http://stephaniesmithphotography.com/natalieandben/

ENJOY!

Oh yeah, and to see ALL 600-something of them.. you can visit this site, and create a log in. they're amazing so you'll probably want to do this as well. =]

http://www.pictage.com/901802

we don't have internet right now at the apt. so you probably won't be hearing from me for a while... we're working on it.. i'll post some pictures later and some lovely things about the 1st month of marriage and so forth later on...

p.s. EVERYTHING FOR MY MARRIAGE WAS PERFECT! THE SEALING, BOTH RECEPTIONS, PICTURES, EVERYTHING!! I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH GOOD THINGS ABOUT IT. IT WAS EXACTLY HOW I PLANNED. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED OUT. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR YOUR SUPPORT. WE COULDN'T HAVE PULLED IT ALL OF WITHOUT YOU. special thanks to our parents. they're amazing and we love them.

love, natalie (& ben)

two days... & Wedding Pictures!!

I'm getting Married in TWO DAYS!!!! crazy right. i'm so excited to have benjamin lee chambers as my husband in a few days. we are going to have so much fun together. he is the best thing that has happened to me... EVER. He keeps me company while i clean, takes care of me when i scrape chunks of skin off my knees (literally), gives me hugs when i am sad for no reason, reminds me to take my medicine, lets me sleep when he drives even though i don't let him sleep when i drive (because he's great like that--and i'm mean). he also does super nice things for me like gives me amazing back massages, let's me sleep on his shoulder, doesn't mind it when i make faces at people... smiles at me when i'm sad, kisses my forehead, and it just all around awesome. And he comforts me when i'm freaked out by something scary or weird. AND he shares food with me! (more than i can say) and he doesn't care that i don't wear makeup and that my hair is crazy. i just love him. more stuff?? yes.. --he is great when it comes to this wedding stuff. he is so supportive and kind about everything. and he helps me plan our party which is so fun to do with him. We also take precious pictures with each other and he smiles for the camera. better than some people can say about their husbands. aren't we cute? ;)

can you believe i'm going to be somebody's wife in a few days. cool huh?

more pics to come! :) (after the actual wedding-these are just teasers from our bride&groom session)

really REALLY bad BAD dream. (sorry it's so long)

so, i had a super sad/scary dream last night... here is how it went...
DREAM:
first off, it all started at the wedding reception at my house, which apparently (in my dream) was happening before the sealing.. guess who was there... nobody. just a couple random people helping with food and ME. No ben, no family, no anyone. I was alone... my dress was huge and my G's were hanging out all over the place, the back of my dress was BLUE PAISLEY, the front the beaded stuff i chose, but it was sooo heavy and so stiff (exact opposite of what is being made for me). my dress is flowy and definitely NOT blue paisley. so, i'm in the house, there is a swimming pool in the boys' room, emma's room has the bunkbed (like normal) but she wont let me in to go change. a few guests arrive (i don't know who they were) and i'm still in gym shorts and have nasty hair no make up, and i look like i've been working in the back yard all day.. I finally get into my bogus dress, people like the flowers, food and all but still... what is missing?? yes. BEN. he was no where to be found.. 1/2 way through the dream i decided that i had been stood up. first time in my life and it had to be on my wedding day. so gay. well, a little while later, still not very many people at my party (which i guess is a good thing, since i'm being stood up) and the ben rolls up in this bogus van with his brother who is supposed to be on a mission... Apparently in my dream Tommy comes home because there was no companion to give him. kinda bittersweet b/c he can be there for the "dream wedding" but he had to come home from the mish... anyway. ben comes up and i don't even know what to do. i am so sad/mad/sad/sad/really sad/really mad. I felt like those girls that get sent home on the finale of "the bachelor"...
then he started to explain that he was doubting and really worried about getting married to me but then he finally decided that he would... so he came. i told him to go get dressed and he put on this BOGUS PINK/Purple/ugly striped suit (to go beautifully with my blue paisley dress). I wanted to die. I made him go change, but he ended up going swimming in the boys' room. it was weird. that's when i woke up.

REAL LIFE:
It was 7:45am (i have to work at 8am) so i didn't have any time to mentally recover from this horrible dream. I rushed to work and the first thing i did was text ben and have this conversation with him:
Natalie: Ben. You had better not stand me up at our wedding. I would die. then i'd kill you. I just woke up from the worst dream ever. My dress was blue paisley and your brother came home from his mish early b/c they didn't have a comp for him.
Ben: I'm sorry you had a bad dream. Do you really think i would stand you up?
Natalie: Well, i am a lot to handle sometimes... but no. It was just so real.
Ben: Natalie, if i was going to bail out i would have done it a long time ago. I need you to realize that i don't just love you for your strengths but for your weaknesses too. i love everything about you.
Natalie: BEST TEXT EVER. i love you.
Ben: oh yeah, and the fact that i pretty much can't live without you.
the convo goes on, but that's the end of the relevant stuff.
i'm sorry this is so long.. i just had to get it out of my system. i'm also sorry this post has no pictures... i'll try and find one by the end of it..

ok, so things i attribute bad dreams to:

• having to go pee (when i was little, if i would be screaming, my mom would wake me up [kinda] take me to the bathroom, i'd go, then she'd take me back to bed and i'd be fine again)

• not having my ring on (ben took it last night so it can be cleaned before the big day- i feel like people look at me and wonder if we broke it off)

• wearing my retainer (some days it makes me feel like i can't breathe--then i find it under my pillow when i wake up)

that's all. thanks for reading.. if you made it all the way through, i'll give you something good. like a frosty or something.. just call me. :)
p.s. i found a picture... these are my "shoes" for the wedding: stylish i know.. ;)

19 Days!! (the annoucement)

HERE IT IS!!!!

Announcements have been sent out and I really apologize if you didn't get one... After ordering, stuffing, stamping, sealing, mailing like a million invites some of them are bound to be lost/forgotten/returned to us... so hopefully that wasn't yours. =] Anyway, here's the info... We'd love for you to come to one of our events... below is our low-key second open house in Orem for our Northern Utah Family/Friends PLEASE COME if you can! Anyway, we're super excited to share in this life-changing event we are going to do... (sounds weird, but you know what i mean) Anyway. thanks for the love/support. You're the greatest. 19 days. i love ben. i'm eating poptarts. all that jazz. =] adios!

--OPEN HOUSE INFO--

Saturday, September 11, 2010 | 6:00 pm-8:00 pm
Draper Home
1176 West 560 North
Orem, Utah 84057